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Jimmy Carr Jokes

Get ready to laugh out loud with our amazing collection of Jimmy Carr jokes! Whether you're a fan, fanatic, follower, or just someone who loves a good celebrity joke, you won't want to miss out on these silly, corny, and downright hilarious jokes. Our carefully curated selection of jokes includes the very best of Jimmy Carr humor, from witty one-liners to clever puns and tricky riddles. And of course, we've got all the most memorable quotes from the beloved comedian to tickle your funny bone. So why waste your time with boring jokes when you can experience the absolute best in Jimmy Carr humor? Come on over and join the fun – because everyone knows that jokes are the best medicine for a good laugh!

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Showing all 10 Jimmy Carr jokes

Boxers don't have sex before a fight, do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.
Jimmy Carr
British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
Jimmy Carr
I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"
Jimmy Carr
I say no to gay marriage. It'll end up leading to gay divorce, and that'll be bitchy.
Jimmy Carr
I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.
Jimmy Carr
If we are all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
Jimmy Carr
My favourite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky."
Jimmy Carr
Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, ‘Yes, who did you think it was?'
Jimmy Carr
The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly.
Jimmy Carr
When I was a kid, I used to have an imaginary friend. I thought he went everywhere with me. I could talk to him and he could hear me, and he could grant me wishes and stuff too. But then I grew up, and stopped going to church.
Jimmy Carr

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