Political Jokes

Do you know why walking a tightrope and having Janet Reno go down on you are alike?

Answer: Because in both cases you really don't want to look down.

How do you get tested for Coronavirus?

Answer: Cough on a celebrity, politician, or rich person and wait for their results.

How does Congressman John Boehner change a lightbulb?

Answer: Why change the bulb when you can blame it all on Obama?

How tall is Betsy DeVos?

Answer: We don't know, she can't measure growth.

Modern American Currency

One dollar bill: George Washington

Five dollar bill: Abraham Lincoln

Ten dollar bill: Alexander Hamilton

Twenty dollar bill: Andrew Jackson

Fifty dollar bill: Ulysses S. Grant

One hundred dollar bill: Benjamin Franklin

Food Stamps: Barack Obama

The best thing about Betsy DeVos being nominated as the head of department of education ... is the fact they are abolishing it completely.

There were five people on a plane. Malcolm Turnball, a skater boy, an elderly man, a little school girl and Hilary Clinton. The plane was about to crash and there was only four parachutes.

Malcolm Turnball said, "I am about to be the president, so i need a parachute".

The skater boy said, "I have a long life ahead of me, so i need one too".

Malcolm and the skater both grab one and jump out.

Hilary Clinton said, " I am also running for president, so i also need one". Grabs one and jumps out.

The elderly man turns to the little girl and says, " I have lived my life. You haven't, so you take the last one".

The little girl shook her head. "No sir. We can both go. Malcolm Turnball stole my school bag".

What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?

Answer: They were both upset when Bill finished first!

Why can't John Kerry tell a joke?

Answer: Because all the botox keeps him from smiling!

Why does Congressman Gary Condit wear pants?

Answer: To keep his ankles warm!