Celebrity Jokes

Where does Superman like to go on holidays?

Answer: Cape town

Who was the most popular vampiric artist?

Answer: Vincent Fang Gogh!

Replying to an invitation to a scientist's ball

Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm.
Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend.
Volta was electrified and Archimedes, buoyant at the thought.
Ampere was worried he wasn't up to current research.
Ohm resisted the idea at first.
Boyle said he was under too much pressure.
Edison thought it would be an illuminating experience.
Watt reckoned it would be a good way to let off steam.
Stephenson thought the whole idea was loco.
Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orville could get a flight.
Dr Jekyll declined -- he hadn't been feeling himself lately.
Morse's reply: "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now must dash."
Heisenberg was uncertain if he could make it.
Hertz said in the future he planned to attend with greater frequency.
Henry begged off due to a low capacity for alcohol.
Audobon said he'd have to wing it.
Hawking said he'd try to string enough time together to make a space in his schedule.
Darwin said he'd have to see what evolved.
Schrodinger had to take his cat to the vet, or did he?
Mendel said he'd put some things together and see what came out.
Descartes said he'd think about it.
Newton was moved to attend.
Pavlov was drooling at the thought.
Gauss was asked to attend because of his magnetic personality.
JP Clark & Siegfried the Deerslayer Wanna-Be

Did you see the Jim Carrey movie about the Benghazi Hearings?

Answer: It's called "Liar Liar Pantsuit on Fire"

Why did Batman flush the toilet?

Answer: Because it was his duty!