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Vladimir Lenin Jokes

Here you will find a great collection of silly, corny and funny Vladimir Lenin Jokes for fans, fanatics, followers, groupies and everyone else who likes awesome celebrity jokes. This funny collection of the best jokes about the famous Vladimir Lenin can also contain quotes, riddles, oneliners and puns about the celebrity. Jokes are fun!

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Showing all 18 Vladimir Lenin jokes

A journalist interviews Lenin.
- "Vladimir Ilyich, how did you come up with the slogan 'Study, study, and study'?"
- "I didn't come up with anything, I was just trying out a new pen!"
A tired father of six comes home after a night shift. The kids surround him and demand to play. He says:
- "Okay, let's play a game called Mausoleum where I'll be Lenin and you'll be the guards."
A train bearing Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev and Gorbachev stops suddenly when the tracks run out. Each leader applies his own, unique solution. Lenin gathers workers and peasants from miles around and exhorts them to build more track. Stalin shoots the train crew when the train still doesn’t move. Khrushchev rehabilitates the dead crew and orders the tracks behind the train ripped up and relaid in front. Brezhnev pulls down the curtains and rocks back and forth, pretending the train is moving. And Gorbachev calls a rally in front of the locomotive, where he leads a chant: “No tracks! No tracks! No tracks!”
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" Asks one of the guests.

"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
How do Communists ask for help?
Lenin approaches Dzerzhinsky and says:

“Felix, for the sake of the Revolution, would you jump out that window?

“Of course,” replies Dzerzhinsky, and jumps out the window.

Lenin goes down the stairs, goes out into the street, and looks at Dzerzhinsky lying on the ground, unimpressed.

“’Iron Felix’, yeah? Pathetic!”
Lenin proved that even female cooks could manage a country.

Stalin proved that just one person could manage a country.

Khrushchev proved that a fool could manage a country.

Brezhnev proved that a country doesn’t need to be managed at all.
What did Lenin hate the most?
What was Lenin's favourite book?
What's a Russian's favorite clothing material?
Where's the best place to find a Communist?

More funny Vladimir Lenin Jokes below

Who was Lenin’s favorite hip-hop artist?
Why can you never trust a car made in the Soviet Union?
Why did Lenin mark the names of traitors with ? at the end?
Why did Vladimir Lenin write in all lowercase?
Why Lenin wore regular shoes, but Stalin wore boots?
With Lenin, it was like being in a tunnel: You‘re surrounded by darkness, but there’s light ahead.

With Stalin, it was like being on a bus: One person is driving, half the people on the bus are sitting and the other half are quaking with fear.

With Khrushchev, it was like at a circus: One person is talking, and everyone else is laughing.

With Brezhnev, it was like at the movies: Everyone’s just waiting for the film to end.
You know who could really get a party started?

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