This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. For more information, please review our cookie policy and privacy policy.

Russia Jokes

Looking for a good laugh? Look no further than our hilarious collection of Russia jokes about celebrities! Whether you're a fan of Russian culture or just love great celebrity humor, our collection has something for everyone. Packed with silly, corny, and downright hilarious jokes, you'll find plenty of material to keep you entertained for hours on end. From clever one-liners to witty puns and everything in between, our collection is sure to have you laughing out loud. So why wait? Dive in and discover the funniest jokes about Russia and your favorite celebrities! Get ready to laugh out loud with this amazing collection!

Showing all 28 Russia jokes

A Russian, a Frenchman and an Englishman argued about Adam's nationality.

The Frenchman said, "Of course Adam was French. Look how passionately he made love to Eve!"

The Englishman said, "Of course Adam was British. Look how he gave his only apple to the lady, like a real gentleman."

The Russian said, "Of course Adam only could be Russian. Who else, possessing nothing but a sole apple, and walking with a naked ass, still believed he was in a paradise?"
Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin were in a meeting

Obama said, "Mr. Putin, the reason that I love my country is that a man can walk right into The White House and say, 'I don't like the way that Barack Obama is running The United States of America.'"

Putin responded, "That's true in Russia, too. Anyone can walk into the Kremlin and say, 'I don't like the way that Barack Obama is running the United States of America.'"
Did you hear Vladimir Putin made a travel sized Russia?
How does Sarah Palin know that the world celebrated Barack Obama’s victory in the 2008 election?
Imagine if Jesus was Russian, and it was vodka instead of wine.
Little Johnny is on an airplane with Bill Gates, Donald Trump, and the Pope...

The airplane is shot out of Russian airspace and is about to crash. There are 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes. One of them will be left behind on the plane when it crashes.

Bill Gates says, "I am Bill Gates, one of the founders of Microsoft. My devices are used by people across the globe, and I donate billions of dollars to charity. I can't afford to die." So, he takes the first pack and jumps out of the plane.

Donald Trump says, "I am the one, the only, the Donald Trump. I am the US President, and I am the smartest President in American history. It's true, believe me. My people don't want me to die, so I'm taking this parachute." Then he snatches the second pack and jumps out of the plane.

The Pope turns to Little Johnny and says, "My son, I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

Little Johnny turns down the offer and says, "That's okay, Your Holiness, there's enough parachutes for both of us. The President just jumped out with my backpack..."
Mikhail Gorbachev and his wife were on the train returning to Russia following a state visit to East Germany. After they'd been travelling a short while, his wife asked him: "Where are we now, Mikhail dear?"

He put his hand out of the window and said: "We're still in Germany, dear."

Several hours later, his wife asked him again: "Where are we now?"

He put his hand out of the window and replied: "In Poland."

Some time later, his wife asked again: "Where are we now?"

Gorbachev put his hand out of the window and said: "We're back in Russia."

His wife was curious; she asked: "How do you know where we are just by putting your hand out of the window?"

He replied: "When I put my hand out in Germany, the people kissed it. When I put my hand out in Poland, they spat on it. And when I put my hand out in Russia, they stole my watch."
On Friday, Russian President Vladimir Putin said gay people at the Olympics should not fear for their safety despite the country's anti-gay laws. He said they should fear for their safety because they're in Russia.
Jimmy Fallon
President Obama is trying to get Vladimir Putin to scale back Russia's nuclear arsenal. But it's not a good time. Putin just got a divorce. He just lost half his stuff. And his wife gets to use the Kremlin on weekends.
Craig Ferguson
Putin just introduced Russia’s new COVID-19 vaccine. The good news is that it’s 100% effective.
The bad news is that it’s Novichok.
They caught Bin Laden. Washed him, gave him a haircut, turned out it was Berezovsky.

More funny Russia Jokes below

Things have gotten very tense between the U.S. and Russia. In fact, during a speech today Vladimir Putin criticized the U.S. for thinking it's 'always right.' Then he went back to organizing an election where you can't vote 'No.'
Jimmy Fallon
This week the Russian government gave all 44 of its Olympic medalists a new Mercedes. When asked what happened to the athletes who didn't medal, Putin said, 'Do not open trunk.'
Jimmy Fallon
Vladimir Putin Travels to an Eastern European Country
He walks up to the customs agent and the agent asks, “Name?”

“Vladimir Putin”

“Country of Origin?”



“No, no. Just visiting.”
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Justin Trudeau all die and wind up in Hell.

While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The Devil tells them it’s for calling back to Earth. So Putin calls Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the Devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a cheque.

Next Donald Trump calls the U.S. and talks for 30 minutes. When he’s finished the Devil informs him that the cost is 6 million dollars, so Trump writes him a cheque.

Finally Trudeau has his turn and calls Canada for 4 hours. When he’s finished, the Devil informs him that there would be ‘No Charge’ and to feel free to call Canada anytime.

Putin and Trump go ballistic and ask the Devil why Trudeau got to call Canada for free. The Devil replied,
”Since Justin Trudeau became Prime Minister of Canada, the country has gone to Hell, so it’s a local call!"
What dictator is a paradox?
What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?
What do Russians eat for dessert?
What is Lorenna Bobbit's name translated into Russian?
What is the difference between Russia and reality?
What is the most painful Russian dance?
What is Xi Jinpings pet name for the Russian president?
What was Justin Timberlake's biggest hit in Russia?
What's a Russian's favorite clothing material?
What's the saddest thing to come out of Russia at Christmas?
Why did Napoleon lose against the trigonometric functions?
Why Lenin wore regular shoes, but Stalin wore boots?
Why wasn't Jesus born in Russia?

Feel free to share these jokes about Russia with your family, friends, relatives, co-workers, classmates, partner, training buddy or on social media!

Do you have a funny joke about Russia that you would like to share? Click here to submit your joke!

Bookmark this site and come back tomorrow for more great celebrity jokes.