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Osama bin Laden Jokes

Here you will find a great collection of silly, corny and funny Osama bin Laden Jokes for fans, fanatics, followers, groupies and everyone else who likes awesome celebrity jokes. This funny collection of the best jokes about the famous Osama bin Laden can also contain quotes, riddles, oneliners and puns about the celebrity. Jokes are fun!

Showing all 22 Osama bin Laden jokes

Osama Bin Laden's afterlife...
After he was killed by Seal Team Six, Osama Bin Laden immediately found himself in a large room filled with fat middle aged men wearing strange costumes.

As he looked around he saw a gigantic sign that said "Welcome fellow Trekies."

Confused by his surroundings, Osama wanted to get out of the room, only to face Muhhammed himself, blocking the door.

"This is not the paradise I was promised in the Quoran."

"Yes it is...where did you expect I'd find you 72 virgins?"
Bin Laden said it was ok to masterbate.... I guess they should have called themselves the Tali-whackers.
Have you heard about the Osama Bin Laden celebratory drink?
Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
Osama goes to heaven.
Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington.

"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.

James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee.

Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.

As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams "This is not what I was promised!"

An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
The Republicans are so happy about bin Laden they’ve granted President Obama full citizenship.
David Letterman
They caught Bin Laden. Washed him, gave him a haircut, turned out it was Berezovsky.
Three guys, a Canadian, Osama bin Laden, and George W. Bush are out walking together one day. They came across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish. That's three wishes total," saidthe genie.

The Canadian said, "I'm a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." With a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews, or Americans can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.

George W. Bush, said, "I'm very curious, please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15, 000 feet high, 500 feet thick, and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out - it's virtually impenetrable." George W. Bush says, "Fill it with water."
What did Barack Obama tell Al Qaida after Osama Bin Laden’s death?
What did Bruce Lee tell Osama Bin Laden?

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Why did Bin Laden listen to Eminem?
Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road?
Why did Osama bin Laden visit Mount Sinai?
Why did Sarah Palin say Afghanistan is our neighboring country?
Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives?

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