Kim Kardashian Jokes

Did you hear that wedding guests who gave expensive gifts are suing Kim Kardashian?

Answer: They intend to file an Ass-Action lawsuit!

How hot is Kim Kardashian's ass?

Answer: So hot Kim had an air conditioner implanted into it!

How's Kanye going to make up for the $30M loss from cancelling The Saint Pablo Tour?

Answer: He's helping Kim pack her jewelry for another European vacation.

I don't really like watching basketball, I just watch it to find out who the next member of the Kardashian family will be.

Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.

Kim Kardashian gave birth to North West. Does that mean the area between her legs is the Northwest Passage?

Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.

Last night, at the Country Music Awards, Kim Kardashian tripped on her way to the stage. It was a good ol' country hoedown!

News: Kim and Kanye expecting another baby, say they will name it something normal.

Congratulations, Something Normal West.

Since Kim and Kanye named their child North West, I will honor them in naming my child South East.

What are basketball players doing during the NBA lockout?

Answer: Marrying & divorcing a Kardashian!

What did doctors discover after Kim K had her butt x-rayed?

Answer: A brain tumor!

What did Kim Kardashian learn about marriage?

Answer: It puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the her eyes!

What did Kim Kardashian's right leg say to her left leg?

Answer: Nothing, they've never been together!

What do the Kardashian’s and a police siren have in common?

Answer: They get turned on when black guys are around.

What do you call the space between Kim Kardashian's breasts and butt cheeks?

Answer: Silicon Valley.

What do Ziplock bags, Barbie dolls, Nicki Minag and Kim West have in common?

Answer: They're all at least 90% plastic.

What do Ziplock bags, Barbie dolls, Nicki Minaj and Kim West have in common?

Answer: They're all at least 90% plastic.

What does Kim Kardashian and door knobs have common?

Answer: Everyone gets a turn!

What does Kris and Kim Kardashians marriage prove?

Answer: That same sex couples have no right to destroy the sanctity of marriage!

What kind of rings do you need to marry a Kardashian?

Answer: Engagement Ring

What record did Kim Kardashian recently break?

Answer: First woman to have an engagement ring with a bigger carat size than her IQ!

What was the movie "Superbad" originally about?

Answer: A heart-warming tale about Kim Kardashian's ass!

Which celebrity gets the most speeding tickets?

Answer: Kim Kar-dash-ian

Which store do the Kardashians put most of their time and energy into?

Answer: Photoshop

Why did Kim Kardashian marriage end so quickly?

Answer: She could not take another episode of shex in the shitty.

Why did Reggie Bush want to break up with Kim Kardashian?

Answer: According to Kim's press conference it was her constant need to be in the spotlight.

Why don't the Kardashians like Santa Claus?

Answer: Cause everytime Santa sees them he keeps saying hoe hoe hoe!

Why is Kim Kardashian going to marry a tennis player next?

Answer: Because love means nothing to them!