Isaac Newton Jokes

Newton, Galileo and Pascal were playing hide and seek...

...Pascal taps Galileo and decides he is seeking before running to hide. Galileo begins to count. Newton grabs a piece of chalk from his pocket because all scientists have pieces of chalk in their pocket and proceeds to draw a square with 1m dimensions around him. By the time he is done Galileo turns and says I've found you Newton. Newton replies with "no, you've found one Newton per square metre. You've found Pascal".

Albert Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek.

Einstein is it, so he closes his eyes and starts to count. Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton doesn't budge. Right in front of Einstein he bends down and scratches a box in the dirt, one meter on a side. The he just stands there, right in the middle of the box.

Einstein opens his eyes and says "Newton! I found you! You're it!"

"No," says Newton. "You found a Newton in one square meter. You found Pascal!"

An apple falls on Isaac Newton's head
He shakes his fist at the sky and says, "There should be a law!"

Archimedes, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek.
It's Archimedes' turn to seek and so he starts counting down.
Pascal quickly runs off to some bushes nearby.
Newton starts walking, stops thinks for a while, and then draws a large rectangle around himself in the dirt.
The time is up and Archimedes turns around: "Found you, Newton".
"I'm not Newton", he replies, "I’m Newton in a square meter, I'm a Pascal"

Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.

Did you hear that Apple Guy died?

Answer: R.I.P. Isaac Newton

Did you know?

Before Isaac Newton invented gravity in 1869, people could fly!

How did Isaac Newton formalize calculus?

Answer: He went out on a lim.

Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.

Sir Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree one fine day, trying to figure out how gravity works. And then it hit him.

Newton, Einstein and Pascal meet in Heaven

They’re bored, so Einstein suggests they play hide and seek. Einstein starts counting to 10. Pascal runs to find a good hiding spot, Newton on the other hand stays in place. He draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square with chalk on the ground and stands in it. Einstein finished counting, turns around, notices Newton and says: “Ha, gotcha Newton!”, but Newton just replies: “Nah man, you got Pascal.”

What did Newton’s doctor tell him when the apple fell on his head?

Answer: I don’t think you understand the gravity of this situation.

What is Isaac Newton's favorite TV show?

Answer: Gravity Falls

What was Sir Isaac Newton's favorite dessert?

Answer: Apple pi

What would Newton be called if he ever went into space?

Answer: New, since the concept of weight does not exist in space.

Who was the first Jedi?

Answer: Isaac Newton, he's the one who discovered the Force.

Why did Newton only discover gravity under a tree?

Answer: Because the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.

Why didn't Isaac Newton dodge the apple?

Answer: He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Why didn't Isaac Newton drink wine?

Answer: He knew better than to drink and derive.

Why didn't Newton discover group theory?

Answer: Because he wasn't Abel.

Why do I think Sir Isaac Newton was such a chill guy?

Answer: I don't know, he just seemed pretty down-to-Earth to me.

Why do Jedi like Newton's 3rd law?

Answer: Because its about balancing the force.

Why is Newton the most alcoholic scientist ?

Answer: Because there are 10 N/cm² in a bar.

Why was the man who discovered gravity respected?

Answer: Because Isaac Newton(s) of things!

You’ve heard of Newton’s Laws but have you heard of Cole’s Law?

Answer: It’s really tasty, it goes well with salad.