What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Santa Claus?Answer: Some people still believe in Santa Claus.
What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton?Answer: You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.
What's the difference between Hillary and Bill?Answer: Hillary doesn't get caught.
What's the most popular game at the White House?Answer: Swallow the leader.
What's the new game there playing in the White House?Answer: Swallow the Leader
Whats the similarity between Monica Lewinsky and a soda machine?Answer: They both say, insert Bill here.
What’s Clinton doing to make Americans happy?Answer: If you’ve paid your tax bill and have enough money left to feed your family–you’re happy.
What’s the difference between Bill and Monica?Answer: One can’t come clean and the other one can't clean cum.
What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and David Koresh?Answer: Koresh only burned 85 people.
What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and Joseph Stalin?Answer: Some of Stalin’s subjects admired him.
When Bill Clinton was President, he got off the helicopter in front of the White House with a baby hog under each arm. The Marine guard snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "Nice pigs, sir". The president replied, "These are not pigs, these are authentic Arkansas Razorback hogs. I got one for Hillary and I got one for Chelsea." The Marine again snapped to attention, saluted, and replied, "Nice trade, sir."
When did Clinton’s friends become sure that he had political ambitions?Answer: When he married outside of his family.
When will there be a woman in the White House?Answer: When Hillary leaves town.
While undressing for bed one night, Bill Clinton notices a red rash around his "thing." Alarmed, he thinks, "I can't let Hillary see this!", and makes a point of getting to his doctor at Bethesda Naval Hospital, the very next day.
"Doc," he says, "I've got this red ring around my, you know. What is it, and how do I get rid of it?"
The doctor says, "Well, I'm not exactly sure what it is, but take these pills for a week, and see if that takes care of it. If not, come back and we'll try something else."
Bill takes the pills for the week, but unfortunately, the red ring is still there after 7 days. He goes back to his doctor and tells him the pills didn't help.
So the doctor prescribes another medication, capsules this time, and gives him the same instructions. Take them for a week, and come back if it's not improved.
Bill takes the capsules for a week, and damn rash is still there. So he goes back to his doctor and asks, "What next?" The doctor gives him a cream in a tube this time. "Rub this on every day for a week, and let me know."
Bill goes back in a week and says, "Great news, doc! The rash is gone! That stuff in the tube was wonderful! What was it?"
The doctor replied, "Lipstick remover."
Why did all the gays vote for Clinton?Answer: Because gays like assholes better than Bush.
Why did Bill Clinton cross the road?Answer: To tax the chicken.
Why did Bill Clinton have the affair?Answer: He wanted to be with a woman.
Why did Bill Clinton stop playing the saxophone?Answer: He was too busy playing the whore-monica.
Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear?Answer: To keep his ankles warm.
Why does Clinton always have a stupid grin on his face?Answer: He is stupid!
Why does Clinton swim naked in the White House pool?Answer: He is trolling for interns.
Why does Hillary always get on top?Answer: Bill can only screw up.
Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill every day at 5 am?Answer: She wants to make sure that she is the first lady.
Why does Hillary want to make love to Bill Clinton first thing in the morning?Answer: She wants to be the first lady.
Why is Bill infuriated with Chelsea’s new private school?Answer: They broke family tradition by making her wear a uniform.
Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child?Answer: Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.
Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East?Answer: He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar!
Why is Dolly Parton jealous of Washington D.C.?Answer: It has the two biggest boobs in the world, Clinton and Gore.
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