Justin Bieber Jokes

About Justin Bieber: He has it all: except love, friends, good parents and a Grammy!

Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.

Dear Justin Bieber haters, please respect him I owe him my life. Last year August, i had been in a coma for 6 months. Then one day my nurse turned on the radio to his songs. So i woke up and turned it off..

Dick Cheney, Jim Porter, and Justin Bieber are duck hunting. Cheney shoots at a duck and misses 6 inches too high. Porter shoots and misses 6 inches too low. Bieber shouts, “We got it! We got it!”

Every time you're sad, just remember that somewhere out there a tree grew for years and years, but was then destroyed and became material for a Justin Bieber notebook.

Girl: Justin Bieber has 1 book, 56 awards, 86 shows, over 18 million fans. What do you have?

Me: A penis

Hey beautiful, would do with me if I told you that I stole Justin Bieber chapstick in there.

How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar?

Answer: Both their balls are decoration only.

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom?

Answer: He farts.

I found a Justin Bieber concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it! You never know when you might need a nail.

I phoned my local radio station today.

When the guy answered the phone he said, “Congratulations on being our 1st caller, all you have to do is answer the next question correctly to win our grand prize.”

“Wahoo!” I shouted in delight.

“It’s a Maths question,” he said. “Feeling confident?”

“I’ve got a degree in Maths and I teach it at my local school,” I proudly replied.

“Okay then, to win 2 VIP tickets to see Justin Bieber and to meet him back stage afterwards, what’s 2+2?”

“7,” I replied.

I watched Justin Bieber get shot in CSI and my brother asked "Why are you crying?"
I said "Because he didn't die in real life"

I watched Justin Bieber get shot in CSI and my brother asked "Why are you crying?"
I said "Because he didn't die in real life"

If Eminem is the King of Rap, what is Justin Bieber?

Answer: The Queen of Crap!

If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff.

If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Bieber and run off a cliff.

Justin Bieber has a new album coming out.

Oh, no, wait. Sorry.

Let me try that again.

Justin Bieber has a new album, “Coming Out.”

Knock Knock!
Who’s There?
Justin.
Justin Bieber?
No fool. Just in case you want to apologize? This is the time.

What do Justin and a beer bottle have in common?

Answer: They're both empty from the neck up.

What do One Direction and Justin Bieber have in common?

Answer: The 6 of them can’t get a chick to save their lives.

What do you call a Canadian girl who can't sing?

Answer: Justin Bieber

What do you call a model without boobs?

Answer: Justin Bieber

What does Justin Bieber and the crowd at Time Square for new years have in common?

Answer: They’re both waiting for balls to drop!

What does Justin Bieber have in common with a Christmas tree?

Answer: Their balls are just for decoration.

What does Pinochio and Justin Bieber have in common?

Answer: They both want to be real boys

What's the difference between a water bottle and puberty?

Answer: A water bottle has already hit Justin Bieber.

What's worse than finding a Justin Bieber concert DVD in your boyfriend's bedroom?

Answer: Finding a box of tissues next to it.

What’s the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga?

Answer: One of them has balls and it ain’t Bieber.

What’s the difference between Whitney Houston and Justin Bieber?

Answer: Hopefully, about 2 weeks

When Michael Jackson died all that was on the radio was Michael Jackson songs. When Whitney Houston died all you could hear was Whitney Houston songs. I just hope Justin Bieber never dies.

Which Decepticon will Justin Bieber portray in the next Transformers film?

Answer: Faggatron

You’ve got to feel a bit of sympathy for Justin Bieber.

He’s been to every single Justin Bieber concert.