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Arnold Schwarzenegger Jokes

Looking for some laughs with the iconic Arnold Schwarzenegger? Look no further than our hilarious collection of silly, corny and funny jokes! Whether you're a die-hard fan, a casual admirer, or just someone who loves celebrity humor, our collection of the best Arnold Schwarzenegger jokes is sure to tickle your funny bone. Featuring puns, one-liners, riddles, and quotes about the legendary actor, this collection is packed with laughs that will have you quoting lines from his most famous movies. So, what are you waiting for? Get ready to flex your funny bone and check out our collection of Arnold Schwarzenegger jokes!

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Showing all 23 Arnold Schwarzenegger jokes

Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back. But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 7.

He replied, "I still love Vista, baby".
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 7.
He replied, “I still love Vista, baby”.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was sworn in as the Governor of California. He put one hand in the air, the other hand on the Bible, which is a good start — at least we know where his hands are now.
Jay Leno
Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone were discussing their next Halloween costumes. They wanted to get away from the typical scary characters and do something different.

Bruce: 'how about historical figures? I'll go as Freud.'

Sly: 'ok, sounds good. I'll go as Leonardo Da Vinci.'

Arnold Schwarzenegger overhears their discussion, walks over and replies 'I'll be Bach.'
Did you hear about the Hollywood cosplay of famous composers?
Did you hear the cast of "The Expendables" is making a new movie called "The Composers"?.
I bet that if Arnold Schwarzenegger is his gravestone will say 'I will be back'.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Schwarzenegger has it long, Brad Pitt short, Madonna does not have it and the Pope does not use it. What is it?
Steven Spielberg was discussing his new project - an action docudrama about famous composers starring top movie stars.

Sylvester Stallone, Steven Segall, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were all present.

Spielberg strongly desired the box office 'oomph' of these superstars, so he was prepared to allow them to select whatever composers they would portray, as long as they were very famous.

'Well,' started Stallone, 'I've always admired Mozart. I would love to play him.'

'Chopin has always been my favorite, and my image would improve if people saw me playing the piano' said Willis. 'I'll play him.'

'I've always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes,' said Segall. 'I'd like to play him.'

Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. 'Sounds splendid.' Then, looking at Schwarzenegger, he asked, 'Who do you want to be, Arnold?' So Arnold says 'I'll be Bach.'

More funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Jokes below

Teacher : Who's your favourite Actor?
Me: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Teacher: Spell it?!
Me: only joking its Jet Li
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when someone told him to upgrade to Windows 7?
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Sylvester Stallone wanted to dress up as classical composers for Halloween?
What does Arnold Schwarzenegger call a colonoscopy?
What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say before eating noodles?
What is Arnold Schwarzenegger now that he's not an actor?
What's the difference between Rivaldo and Arnold Schwarzenegger?
When did Arnold Schwarzeneger realize he was getting a little over-developed?
Which Search Engine does Arnold Schwarzenegger use?
Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island?
Why Does Arnold Scwarzenegger want two NFL football teams in Los Angeles?
Yo mama's so ugly she made Arnold Schwarzenegger cry.

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